the good news

lent.

nope. not the stuff that you find in your belly button. not even the stuff that you find in your dryer after a fresh load of clothes.

lent.

 a season of preparation. expectation of redemption. hope for new life.

"The tradition of Lent- a forty-day sacrifice-is one way of mourning the death that sin has caused in our lives. As we see Jesus perfectly withstand Satan's temptation in the wilderness, we admit our own shortcomings, our own inadequate sacrifices. This period of "giving up" has a profound way of recalling our desperate need for Jesus Christ." - from Devotions for Lent, Mosaic Holy Bible

I have really loved reflecting on the weight of the gospel this season.

A Gospel Primer for Christians has been a huge blessing! It is basically the gospel spelled out in tons of different ways, perspectives over and over...all based on scripture. I have really cherished going though it slowly and really taking in the weighty-ness of the words, and meditating on the scriptures it refers to. It also teaches how necessary it is for us to preach the gospel to ourselves...everyday.

It holds such gems:

"The deeper I go into the gospel, the more I comprehend and confess aloud the depth of my sinfulness. A gruesome death like the one that Christ endured for me would only be required for one who is exceedingly sinful and unable to appease a holy God. Consequently, whenever I consider the necessity and manner of His death, along with the love and selflessness behind it, I am laid bare and utterly exposed for the sinner I am. Such an awareness of my sinfulness does not drag me down, but actually serves to lift me up by magnifying my appreciation of God's forgiving grace in my life. And the more I appreciate the magnitude of God's forgiveness of my sins, the more I love Him and delight to show Him love through heart-felt expressions of worship."

and my favorite so far (worth the long read!!):

"Viewing life's blessings as water in a drinking cup, I know that I could discontentedly focus on the half of the cup that seems empty, or I could gratefully focus on the half that is full. Certainly, the latter approach is the better of the two, yet the gospel cultivates within me a richer gratitude than this.

The gospel reminds me first that what I actually deserve from God is a full cup churning with the torments of His wrath. This is the cup that would be mine to drink if I were given what I deserve each day. With this understanding in mind, I see that to be handed a completely empty cup from God would be cause enough for infinite gratitude. If there were merely the tiniest drop of blessing contained in that other wise empty cup, I should be blown away by the unbelievable kindness of God toward me. That God, in fact, has given me a cup that is full of "every spiritual blessing in Christ," and this without the slightest admixture of wrath, leaves me truly dumbfounded with inexpressible joy. As for my specific earthly circumstances of plenty or want, I can see them always as infinite improvements on the hell I deserve.

When I look at any circumstance that God apportions me, I am first grateful for the wrath I am not receiving in that moment. (The empty part of the cup never looked so good!) Second, I am grateful for the blessings that are given to me instead of His wrath. (Life's blessing, however small, always appear exceedingly precious when viewed against the backdrop of the wrath I deserve.) This two-layered gratitude disposes my heart to give thanks in all thing and it also lends a certain intensity to my giving of thanks. Such a gospel-generated gratitude glorifies God, contributes to peace of mind, and keeps my foot from the path of foolishness and ruin."

good stuff!

More gospel goodness:

G.O.S.P.E.L. from Humble Beast Records on Vimeo.


Ok one last thing... sort of on the subject of books and grateful hearts.
I read One Thousand Gifts while in Costa Rica...

o. ya. Will and I went to Costa Rica! (update with pics to come!)

...and it was such a good book! It is basically Ann Voskamp's story and her journey to discovering eucharisto and finding joy and thankfulness in her life. She is a gifted writer and I ate. it. up! You should check out her blog too!

ok. that's all for now. more to come!

as promised:

here it is! isn't Lizi awesome!?

(jenn and ashley t are the coolest people i know!!!)

we've been blogged. and random thoughts.

check it out! 

Real BCS Weddings blogged about our wedding! I will never get tired of looking at our wedding pictures! If you want to see the whole loot- check them out on the side bar under "05.08.10"

Randomness- begin: 

Will and I are still alive! He's busy with school and work. I'm busy with school **can you believe I graduate in MAY!?** and mostly sitting for the CPA. One part down, three to go.
I'm also preparing with Talitha Dance Company for Masterpiece Conference in early March.

We are learning a lot, living a lot...

Last weekend we went camping with some friends. It was good for the soul to be outside and not in the library.

We celebrated valentine's with a gift card to Veritas from our sweet roomie Amy. It was delish!

We officially booked our 1 year anniversary fun trip. We are going to....drum roll please......
COSTA RICA! And to make it even better, we are going with our best friends the Blessings! It's their babymoon before sweet Olivia Joy arrives!

Currently I have been listening to Will Reagan and the United Pursuit Band over and over and over. If you haven't listened/worshiped with these guys- you must check them out. good.for.the.soul!

Lately, I have been faced with some really hard realities of the sex trafficking industry. Like this:

The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 14,500-17,000 people are trafficked annually into the United States; with 25% of trafficked persons coming through Texas. Based on that estimation, the Dallas police anticipated their annual number of trafficked persons to double, if not triple, over Super Bowl weekend.


Can you believe that Houston and Dallas are major hubs for sex traffickers? Check out this website that has some really great information and inspiring stories about how the Lord is redeeming this industry.

Also, I may or may not have been in a music video. :) It's a funny story. When it's released, I will for sure link up to it.

I hope you have a lovely Tuesday!

update in pictures

so obviously I'm not very good at keeping up with this blog. (notice the husband had to fill in for my lack of presence... isn't he great!?!) however, I really really want that to change. So, here's to a new start. We all need those every once in awhile right!?

So here's my attempt to update all 10 of you who read this, and to document this past fall.

September:

Here are the promised pictures from April's wonderful World Race Dinner. She leaves in a just few short days. Would you pray for her? I love her dearly and I'm so excited about what the next 11 months hold for her. Check out her story and follow her on her journey to 11 countries in 11 months!

Yummy food made by April! 

Sorry for the poor quality pictures, it was super dark outside- 

but I loved that we dined by candlelight!

We had a wonderful time with out goofy friend, Eli. 

And it became the game of the night to take a good picture of our sweet friends the Fogles. 

As you can see, Ken had a hard time keeping his eye's open! 

We tried everything: counting, delayed flashes, bug eyes....

and finally a great one! Love you Fogles!

yummy dessert. the dinner was a success and April raised tons for her trip. 

The Lord provided in really cool ways!

 October:
(the month of weddings)

Will was a groomsmen for our good friends James and Angie Schumacher. 

ComChurch friends Josh and Merinda Marion got hitched!

Old ComGroupies Kristen and Andy/Carlos Guerra got married too! 

Sweet Kiva turned 1! I still can't believe how quickly she is growing up!

Amidst all the weddings, Megan and I snuck in some crafty time! We made ruffle wreaths to decorate our doors for the fall. 

our supplies...

it MAY or may not have been late when we decided to do this. 

our finished products!

 November:
This month seemed to whiz by. It was crazy! School really picked up for Will and I and it seemed like we had few spare moments. We were certainly grateful to celebrate our first Thanksgiving together and for the blessings that all the events and things we participated in brought us! 

took a trip to Houston for a painting excursion with Ash, Steph and Mimi for Shannon's birthday. I'll spare you the end result. :)

danced with Talitha at Masterpiece 2010 (isn't Jenn beautiful?)

empty bowls in downtown Bryan.

we threw a World Race Party for April complete with World Race game- thanks to husband. 

December:


December also seemed to fly by. I can't believe we are already almost to the end of the month! Will and I finished the semester- which was crazy, but made us even more thankful for a break!

Rhett and Krista got married! We love you guys!

 We spent Christmas with my parents in Orlando. Will drove the entire way- straight through. It was an experience to say the least.

Will felt pretty accomplished after the 18 hour drive. 

It was a fun trip to get out of town. Our days were filled with pjs, board games, snacking, sleeping in, movies and reading. We even took a day out of our busy schedule to visit Universal Studios- along with the rest of the United States (so my dad said.)


Even though we celebrated Christmas out of state, I just couldn't let this season pass without celebrating it at home- especially since this was our first Christmas together! 


So first things first- we had to get our tree! 

I think we got quite a few looks for this... 

really grateful for a sweet husband this Christmas!

thanks to all those who thought of us for Christmas cards! We loved receiving them!

W.O.W. that was long. and I'm pretty sure I left out tons of things in between. I have lots of thoughts and things I would like to share.... but I'll spare you for now. I'll just wrap up by saying: 

This past fall has been full- filled with friends, life, joy, growing, learning, discovering, new things! I want to just stop here to just soak it all in. I think too many times we rush ahead, plan ahead, run ahead of the moment and we simply... well... miss it. I don't want to move forward without looking back, appreciating all that has happened- so many relationships, so many new things, and revisiting older things. thanks for being apart of this past season- each in your own unique ways. Thanks for joining us on this journey. I'm really grateful... really. 

Thanksgiving

(will) so i know this is cheesy to have a blog post right before thanksgiving entitled "Thanksgiving." lame. be creative, will. but it's really crazy that it takes a holiday for me to look at my life and reflect on the things that i'm thankful for - to really look at my life a little more than a year ago and to see how different it is now. so, i'm about to unload just a little bit of the things that come to mind. i'm mostly hesitant to share everything, just because it's the internet and its open and its vulnerable and it's my life - but there is reality in thinking who really reads this anyway. so here it is :)

i'm thankful. so i have a wife that i didn't have last year. she is amazing and she ridiculously complements my weaknesses. i have no doubt in my mind that we are meant for each other, and my only regret so far is not leading her better towards the Lord. she loves to love me. she knows whats best for me when i can't see past my selfishness or my pride or my laziness. she depicts Jesus to me every day, and i look up to her. i'm thankful. i can't believe last year i had taken a semester off from school. i moved back home to save up money and was working two jobs. life seems to have changed so much since then. not only did it allow for me to find a major that i enjoy, go to a school that i like, and succeed because i am interested in what i am learning, it also allowed for me to be more involved with my job. i have found myself in a room with a handful of godly men, including the two owners, discussing the future of our business and structuring it in a way not only for success as a business, but also in a way to be a huge venue to lead others towards Christ. i was broken and redeemed. i'm thankful. last week my grandmother had to have surgery because she had two arteries that were 100% and 80% clogged. she had the double bypass, which ended up being a triple once they actually got in, last thursday, and not a week later, she is being released from the hospital tomorrow morning (wednesday). ? i don't know either. i'm thankful. i have a brother who has bravely joined with other men to defend our country. i would like to think that somehow i could muster up the courage to leave my wife for an entire year to go to a really really sandy, hot place and have my life threatened. but because he's there, i don't have to be. i'm thankful. i have a family who is close, but could be closer. amidst my lack of communication, they still love and support me and aub. regardless of how i may appear to be or act, they think highly of me and assume the best. i'm thankful. i have no idea how i wound up face first into the Grace of God. i don't know what my life would be like without Jesus. i don't understand that amidst my continued sin, Your Love still grips me tight. You set me free. every day i find myself humbled by Your creation and Your desperate pursuit of me. so intimately close and real. You build a fire in me that makes me want to burst into dance in a classroom full of students falling asleep. You have surrounded me with Your people who open my eyes to see who You are. You love me, You love me, You love me. why? how? i can't wait... i'm thankful.

In the Splendor of His Holiness

(will) so this is my first blog ever. i am currently with aubrey and we're both seeking the Lord together, but separately, and i thought this would be a good time for me to blog. it's not really a normal 'mode of worship' for me, but that's almost what spurred me on to do it. 

my comfort in worship is to sing

my norm is to shout Your name

but when will i step out into the rain

to feel broken and naked, yet unashamed

i only seek the Lord in one place: through singing and playing my guitar. but what does that mean for every other aspect of my life? if i don't spend time to know Him and worship Him outside of the ways that i already do, i am limiting who He is to me, what He can do for me. it's all contingent on what i feel and what i want and what i need and when i have time. it seems so selfish. so is this really worship? am i true to myself or to the Lord when i sing 'all to you i surrender' or 'from the inside out my soul cries out?' 

there is no place that i can hide

no room for dark, no shade inside

why do i shield my eyes from the light

when it's You, Lord

i often talk about how worship should be my life, and not just a designated time to seek after the Lord in song or in reading the bible. but i admit that i don't do that. I don't understand the Splendor of Your Holiness. the concept is vivid in my head. i understand what my life is supposed to look like, but i can't and don't actively do that. so where does my discipline meet the Lord's power and grace in my life? i am insufficient in meeting my own expectations and the Lord knows that. so how much is expected of me? i know that i can only meet the standards that i uphold to myself through God's grace, but how much of it is a reflection of truly understanding His glory? 

i don't want this to become a i'm-good-christian-if-i-act-a-certain-way type of thing in my life. i also don't want to be hard on myself for not seeking the Lord in every aspect of my life. and i think that it comes down to desiring the pursuit of righteousness rather than obtaining righteousness. and that should be read loosely. i know that righteousness comes with certain connotations that i don't want to touch on, but the reality of it is that we are made righteous in Christ; i should desire to be Holy as You are Holy.

this is where i struggle. this is where my mind goes - finding the lines between legalism and discipline, laziness and understanding my imperfections, freedom from sin and righteousness found in You. Lord, fine-tune me to understand true worship. let my desire not be to obtain actions, thoughts, or a certain posture, but that i would desire You. i don't deserve what i have been given. i don't understand your Grace. i don't understand how you can be so beautiful and glorious and powerful and perfect, and still care about me. and because of all of this, i am drawn to worship. i am drawn to throw up my hands and say 'You are Lord' and to smile and to cry and to laugh and to shout and to strum and to dance and to get out of breath and to yearn and to suffer and to be broken and to grow - You are worthy of this and more.

my intention with this post was not to shed light on me; yes, i do want you to know where i struggle and where i am at with worship. but i really want to share what worship means to me - and even what i still don't get or do or understand. i hope that in some way it helps you meet with the Lord. after all, shouldn't that also be an intention of our worship?

if you do one thing today...

please read this and PRAY.